Vogue Empower My Choice: What the criticism actually did to feminism

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Originally posted on This Is My Truth:

The Vogue Empower video titled ‘My Choice’ featuring Deepika Padukone and 99 other women, from different walks of life, has already taken way too much space than it deserved. And yet, I feel the need to defend it. Allow me to explain why.

My first reaction:

The video was released on Saturday and when I first saw someone sharing it, I didn’t even bother to open it, just like I don’t care to open so many other virals the public seem to love. But then as more people started sharing it, particularly my feminist progressive friends, I thought ok lets see what it is all about. So I saw and thought it was just about nice, makes a few bold statements which can be appreciated except that they didn’t really have a large size woman, even when the narrative went, “To be a size zero or a size 15, my choice.”

My second…

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BBC releases India’s Daughter on YouTube!

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I have a few things to say about this…
1) With regards to the absurd things M. L. Sharma and A. P. Singh (the defense lawyers for the rapists) have said in this documentary just goes to show that anyone can become a lawyer in India these days. Even if an FIR was not launched, why didn’t the bar take swift action and take away their licenses? Not everyone in India agrees with their views and opinions, unfortunately there is a sector of society that does uphold such thinking.
2) The day men (like the ones mentioned above) change their mentality and learn to respect women is the day change will ensue within society. Lets face it, true progress will not come if you try to deliberately exclude or eliminate one half of the society.
3) By banning ‪#‎IndiasDaughter documentary in India, the Indian Government cannot prevent the public (national and international) from addressing the elephant(s) in the room. In fact, such a documentary should spark debate amongst the public and parliament as to what long term solutions should be constructed and implemented to further educate the masses and eradicate India’s so called “Rape Culture.” Additionally, for the Indian Government to be constantly banning media content in an attempt to prevent India from being “defamed” is completely contradictory to the democratic values the country’s constitution upholds.

And lastly..

4) Unfortunately, what got to the perpetrators was a poverty of ambition [as shown in the documentary]. The government and the people need to understand that poverty and inequality of opportunity, especially to receive quality education, should be addressed within our communities worldwide because that is the root of all evil. With a decrease in poverty levels and increase in citizens receiving quality education, woman’s security (amongst other things) are bound to improve. The issue being addressed at hand is in fact a global issue and not just India’s issue.

Originally posted on UrbanAsian:

After much speculation, the highly controversial documentary, India’s Daughter, makes its way to the World Wide Web. Banned in India, the documentary focuses on the rape case of Jyoti Singh who was brutally beaten and raped in Delhi in 2012.

The documentary highlights the aftermath of the event as well as a one on one interview with assailant Mukesh Singh. While BBC was in high hopes of releasing the video on television for Women’s Day (March 8th), heavy protests against Mukesh Singh’s lack of remorse and despicable comments lead the the ban of the documentary in India.

Directed by Leslee Udwin, the film has now been made available on YouTube.

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Fiji: Beaches, Markets, Palm Trees and Banana Leaves

This past weekend, my parents planned a surprise vacation to Fiji, South Pacific’s tropical paradise, for my brother and I. From the moment I landed in Fiji, I was absolutely blown away by Fijian hospitality and culture. Visiting Fiji was like visiting a home away from home.

We stayed at the Fiji Beach Resort and Spa Managed by Hilton for 4 nights. The villa we stayed at had a beautiful sea facing view. All throughout the day we could see cruise ships and boats sailing past. It was an absolutely heavenly sight to see. The resort was filled with people of all nationalities and ethnicities. What made the stay at Fiji Hilton even better was hearing a loud and cheerful BULA (hello in Fijian) every time I walked passed the staff and visitors and to my surprise this kind of atmosphere was also in the cities. I was really lucky to have met some amazing people whilst in Fiji and till this date we have kept in touch with each other.

My family and I travelled all throughout Denarau, Nadi, Suva and Sigatoka. But the highlight of my trip was the Sigatoka Safari. I had the great privilege to meet with villagers that were based a few hours away from Sigatoka. Being a true city gal, hiking and doing any activity outdoors is completely outside my comfort zone; however, participating in the Sigatoka Safari really helped me challenge my fears in so many ways. While next to the Cannibal Caves, I got to meet with some of the other villagers and their children. They were very gracious to let me into their homes and allowed me to see their plantations and animals. I was really fascinated by the way the children kept themselves busy: riding their horses down to the lake, welcoming tourists, inventing new games and toys. It was absolutely wonderful for me to see people content and grateful for all that they have, even if they had very little.

Towards the end of the Sigatoka Safari the villagers prepared some lunch for us and even showed us some classic Fijian songs and performances. Watching them dance, I couldn’t help but join them.

I learnt so much about Fijian culture and their socio-economic conditions. It was an absolutely eye-opening and remarkable experience. This trip wouldn’t have been possible without my parents.

Here are a few photographs from my stay in Fiji.

These photographs were taken by Chikita Kodikal. If you would like to seek permission to use these photos you can send a message by clicking on the contact Messages to Mumbai tab. Messages to Mumbai logo designed by Vidyut and Chikita Kodikal.

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2014 Realizations (Candid Chat)

This year has been quite an emotional roller coaster ride. I do have those days where I wish I could go back and make a few adjustments and that is only natural for any human being; however, today just so happens to be one of those days where I cherish every lesson learnt, regardless of what I had to endure in order to learn it.

  1. “Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.” – Winston Churchill &“Believe you can and you are already halfway there.” – Theodore Roosevelt

Without a doubt, this has to be one of the most important lessons I learnt in 2014. I have to admit, I started this year on a very naïve note. I truly believed that 2014 would be my defining year. I thought I would be able to gallantly surmount all the trials and tribulations that were to come. As the months went on by, I realized nothing was happening as I had planned. All my ventures would either start (with a big bang) and then fade into oblivion or not start at all. And it is at times like this that the world and your mind for that matter begin to militate. Self-doubt became my comrade. I made a conscious decision not to talk with anyone about it – not a very good idea. Self doubt is like a pest, the more you groom and nurture it; it will turn its back on you and corrode you from inside out.

Our society doesn’t reward defeat or failure for that matter. Many of us make a conscious effort to avoid the prospect of it. So much so that we loath its very presence in an individual’s life… our life. For this very reason, ever since my high school days, I always feared failure. The more I feared it, the more it infused its way into my life. It was like living my worst nightmare…

  1. Procrastination is the thief of my success.

I began to fear failure so much so that I began to procrastinate my way out of it – again, not a very good idea. Procrastination is a thief, I tell you. It stole my precious time and the benefit of the hard work that I had invested the months prior. I wanted to attain perfection, but didn’t feel like I acquired the capability to do so no matter how hard I worked…

  1. “Death leaves a heartache no one can heal, love leaves a memory no one can steal.” – Richard Puz, The Carolinian

My amazing grandfather and I.

In all this mess, I lost someone who meant a great deal to me – my grandfather. Losing a loved one is never easy. Never. After my grandfather’s passing, my family and I made a conscious decision to celebrate his life – every moment of it – so as to make his memories and accomplishments live on. In fact, we were so excited because it was the beginning of a new journey for him – not the end. Although we do not have the ability to physically see and feel the presence of the person whom we have just lost, it does not mean that they no longer exist they have just taken a new form.

My grandfather’s passing was a reminder to me that our time here is indeed limited, and therefore we should utilize each day to the fullest. No matter what the outcome.

  1. “When we change, the world changes. The key to all change is in our inner transformation—a change of our hearts and minds. This is human revolution. We all have the power to change. When we realize this truth, we can bring forth that power anywhere, anytime, and in any situation.” – Daisaku Ikeda

I didn’t quite realize the power of positivity till half way this year. Being positive is hard work, especially for someone like me who befriends pessimism quite easily. It took me a while to realize that everything is down to me. As long as I hold a negative attitude within myself, I cannot really expect the alternative to manifest in the environment around me. The moment I took accountability for all that had happened to me in the past, things started to pick pace a little. I had noticed that up until that point, for the most part, I had only interacted with individuals that would degrade me (and I would allow myself to be degraded) or fostered friendships that in the long run turned out to be rather toxic. The moment my attitude changed, I changed. As a result of this change, I had to let go of some bad habits and along with that some friendships; however, this change also opened doors to new and unexpected opportunities and along the way I befriended some amazing individuals who have not just lifted me up the days I succumbed to my self-doubt, but also propelled me further to accomplish much greater things. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t hold any angst or animosity towards any of those individuals who degraded me, instead I am so grateful to them for having taught me the lessons that they did and I wish them well.

As far as my dreams and ambitions are concerned (the ventures that I spoke of earlier) – let me tell you, where there is a will there is a way.

Now, in hindsight, I honestly feel like 2014 was my defining year; my year of victory. I suppose, all these months I was searching for some type award, a trophy perhaps, that would validate all the blood, sweat and tears that I invested into all the adventures and projects I embarked on. Life is never going to get easier, we just get stronger. Our increasing strength and wisdom is our own reward, our motivation to take on bigger and greater things. I learnt to regard failure as a  stepping stone towards the next greatest thing. As Thomas Edison mentioned upon the creation of the light bulb, “I have not failed,  I have just found a 10,000 ways that won’t work.Our greatest weakness lies in giving up. The most certain way to succeed is always to try one more time.”

I really struggled with writing this, primarily because no one likes to disclose their flaws and failures. But if this post could help even a single individual, I have done my job. :)

On that note, Merry Christmas and hope you all have a very happy, healthy and prosperous New Year.

For 2013 Realization (Candid Chat) click here

Quotes of the Day

“It is foolish to be obessed with past failures. And it’s just as foolish to be self-satisfied with one’s small achievements. The present and the future are what are important, not the past. Those who neglect the spirit of continual striving will start to veer off in a ruinous direction.”

– Daisaku Ikeda 

“One thing is certain: That is that the power of belief, the power of thought, will move reality in the direction of what we believe and conceive of it. If you really believe you can do something, you can. That is a fact.”

– Daisaku Ikeda 

Quotes of the Day

“The best way to not feel hopeless is to get up and do something. Don’t wait for good things to happen to you. If you go out and make some good things happen, you will fill the world with hope, you will fill yourself with hope.”

– Barack Obama

“One thing is certain: that is that the power of belief, power of thought, will move reality in the direction of what we believe and conceive of it. If you really believe you can do something, you can. This is a fact.”

– Daisaku Ikeda 


“They dragged her to the road by her hair, tried to rip off her clothes and smiled at the cameras that filmed it all.” “He threw acid on her, aiming at her vagina and abdomen.” “Man who put ‘chastity lock on wife gets 10 years in jail.” “A 23-year-old female physiotherapy intern was beaten and gang raped in a moving bus while travelling with her male friend.” The headlines are endless. News covering issues of sexual and physical abuse towards women in India have been highlighted on almost every national and international platform striking compelling debate. The Nirbhaya Rape Case that took place in the country’s capital was one of those many disasters that unleased the storm. The public’s rage towards the whole ordeal was seen in the form of several protests with banners mentioning, ‘don’t tell me how to dress, tell them NOT to rape,’ the law was questioned and law enforcement as well as the Members of Parliament were interrogated with stringent leeway. With its steep rise in crimes against women, India has made it to the top of the charts as the “worst place to be a woman.”

The Indian society is known for its extensive diversity and strong cultural values. However, embedded in these traditions and values are key ideas that explicitly diminish the strength and purpose of a woman – Indian women in particular – thus significantly reshaping the idea of feminism in an Indian society. The ‘Mahabharat,’ a great Sanskrit epic, identifies a female character by the name of Draupadi. Although Draupadi played an integral part in the grand scheme of things, in a nutshell, she was born unasked by her father. As a result, she was stripped off any kind of joy and deprived of honour and respect as a wife and mother. Due to certain circumstances, Draupadi was coerced into marrying five men, all of whom were brothers. One of her five husbands lost her in a bet along with many of his other fortunes. She was also ridiculed in front of a room full of courtiers and almost ruthlessly disrobed. I say ‘almost’ because she was ultimately saved by divine intervention. Much of her misfortunes were blatantly blamed on her own ‘unparalleled’ beauty and intelligence. Within much of the epic, Draupadi was portrayed as a victim of circumstance who had absolutely no control over the situation. In the ‘Ramayan’, another great Sanskrit epic, Sita similar to Draupadi, was objectified and handed over as a prize won in a contest (known as Swayamvar); she was abducted and struggled to maintain her chastity during her detainment. Apart from these instances, Indian Mythology placed women on a pedestal that was deemed much superior to men. (Note the irony) However, interestingly enough mythologies such as the Mahabharat and Ramayan have exhibited that masculine power is derived from that of women. Both epics, eventually, deduced the idea that kings and their provinces were completely wiped out because they wronged a woman.

Furthermore, according to Hindu custom female Goddesses are worshiped with grandiosity yet all the institutions within the society not only fail to protect women, but also blame them for these happenings. The editor of an Assamese Women’s Magazine ‘Nandini’, Maini Mahanta claims that tradition, for the most part, still moulds women into “helpless victims” rather than “free-thinking individuals who are in control of their own destiny,” much like a modern day ‘Draupadi’. She goes on to state that events like Raksha Bandhan – the festival where a girl ties a safety thread around her brother’s wrist – signifies a brother’s duty to protect his sister and ancient scriptures such as the ‘Manu Sanghita’ form boundaries dictated by patriarchs that under no cost are to be surpassed by women. Therefore, from the time of birth women are burdened with the obligation to conform to a traditional way of behaving and a conservative way of donning themselves. Kavita Krishnan, a prominent women’s activist and Secretary of the All India Progressive Women’s Association (AIPWA), affirms, “there is clearly some anxiety all over the world among policy makers about how to re-persuade women to be “real” women – to go back to their traditional docile roles even as they become more empowered.”

Women here have found themselves in the midst of a hostile divide between traditional and modern ways of thinking. Mamta Sharma, chairwomen of the National Commission of Women (NCW) a statutory body formed by the provisions of the Indian Constitution that works towards promoting and protecting the interests of women within the Indian society, aroused a great deal of controversy when she released a statement to The Indian Express mentioning, “After 64 years of freedom, it is not right to give blanket directions… and say don’t wear this or don’t wear that. Be comfortable, but at the same time, be careful about how you dress… aping the west blindly is eroding our culture and causing such crimes to happen.” Sharma’s flagrant remark instigated a response from Sagarika Ghose, an Indian journalist and News Anchor, “It is not about blindly aping the west, Ms Sharma. It’s also about the vacuum in the law, lack of security at leisure spots, lack of gender justice, lack of fear of law, police and judicial apathy and the complete lack of awareness that men and women have the right to enjoy exactly the same kind of leisure activities.” There is no doubt that the nature of the crimes that occur within a public arena are in fact utterly horrendous, however, the most pervasive forms of sexual assault are often done by close kin in private spaces. Sanjay Srivastava, a professor in Sociology, claims, “our public places are unsafe, but they are not really as unsafe as our private ones. The latter are unsafe because of an almost watertight contract written in the language of trust, honour and tradition. It is a contract between different members of the family the powerful and the powerless to maintain the sanctity of the ‘Indian family’ and traditions at all costs.” He goes on to mention, “Historians and sociologists describe it as the most unique aspect of Indian life, politicians sing its praises, movies and TV soaps extol its virtues, and Indians reprimand westerners with figures about the low divorce rate and the rock solid nature of the Indian family as compared to the western one.” So why is it that a society that prides itself on strong values and family ties continue to tolerate and at times even actively participate in crimes against women at home and in the wider society?

The horrific and outright shocking event of 16th December became a catalyst for legal change. The public alongside the media pressured the Indian government into making certain amendments within the law that would enforce the security of women in society. Under the refined version of the law tougher penalties were set for non-sexual, but gender-related acid attacks on women. New offences such as stalking and voyeurism were also incorporated. Convicted rapists were said to face a minimum sentence of 20 years to life and would only be sentenced with the death penalty if the victim were to die from the injuries caused or left in a vegetative state. However, this law too is not free from its setbacks. Although it reduces the age of consent from 18 to 16, it denoted that the rape of a “married” child between 15 and 18, similar to a married adult, would still be considered legal. Nilanjana Roy, a leading commentator and novelist, believes this is because many people within the Indian society do not regard marital rape as a crime. Karuna Nundy, member of the New York Bar and practitioner at Supreme Court of India, suggests that one of the reasons crimes towards women has catapulted is because the country has one of the lowest number of judges and police in proportion to its population. She also states, “Failures to convict rapists are due to institutionalized misogyny to some degree, but they’re also due to insufficient competence of police and prosecutors.”

Not too long ago, chief of Samajwadi Party, Mulayum Singh Yadav allegedly stated at an election rally in Moradabad district of northern Uttar Pradesh, “handing death sentence for rape is not fair… boys make mistakes… there will be changes in the law if we come to power.” Although, Mr. Yadav’s comment reeked of male chauvinism, the reality is that his thoughts are represented by a particular sector of society. Nevertheless, Mr. Yadav does not have the authority to make any assurances on changing the law. One of India’s leading newspapers, The Times of India wrote, “Even by his misogynistic standards, he seems to have sunk to a new low… The change in the laws was brought on after months of selfless demonstration by citizens striving to bring about a change in India’s social outlook by terming rape as ‘just another mistake boys make’, Mulayam has just rendered a slap in the face of their efforts.”

A vast majority of crimes on women have gone unreported, primarily because the attackers do not see their actions as a crime. The perpetrators operate on the hunch that the victim won’t report the abuse to the authorities because they would undergo an overwhelming sense of shame and guilt. The violence and sexual assault that occurs within the family is less reported, as members within the family believe that the victim’s pain should be sacrificed in the name of “collective honour.” Neeraj Kumar, a former commissioner of Delhi Police, revealed, “if you look at the data, in 97% of rape cases in India, the perpetrator is known to the victim. These are opportunistic crimes. The question of the police preventing these rapes does not arise. You cannot go into people’s bedrooms and houses.” Contrary to Karuna Nundy’s statement he adds, “Just putting more policemen on the roads will not help matters. Delhi has over 80,000 policemen but simply expanding the force will not necessarily help curb rape.”

The major expansion in India’s service sector paved a new era for women in the workforce. The economic overhauls of the early 1990s leveraged a 60 percent expansion in India’s gross domestic product causing millions of Indian women to be recruited. Girls were beginning to outshine boy in all fields. This breakthrough for women not only raised anxiety for most men, but also drastically increased levels of vulnerability for women. All throughout India, women began to feel susceptible to attack from a growing number of unattached and unemployed men who viewed women’s success as a reason for their failure. Philip Zimbardo, a well-known psychologist and writer of the novel “The Demise of Guys,” claims the reason boys are being outperformed by girls is because boys prefer the ‘asynchronistic internet world’ as opposed to the spontaneous interactions in social relationships. Zimbardo claims that excessive Internet use enticed with easy access to pornography are “arousal addictions” that enable boys brains to be digitally rewired for novelty and excitement causing them to be ‘totally out of sync in traditional classes and romantic relationship that build gradually and subtly.’ Surprisingly, the industry even supplies it. The demand for “item songs” and roles were women play the damsel in distress are significantly high in the Indian Cinema as that is what receives the most commercial gain. The Bollywood industry has just started breaking through the mould by experimenting with stronger female characters.

The increase in rapes is not a condition produced by economic circumstances nor is it the poor that are more likely to commit such crimes; it is a mixture of factors. Even though India has been listed as the “worst country to be a woman,” lets face it, crimes against women are happening all over the globe. The incident in Steubenville, Ohio where high school football players were accused of repeatedly raping an unconscious 16-year-old girl after she was lugged from one party to another, prompted a comment in New York Times titled “Is Delhi So Different From Steubenville?” In the Democratic Republic of Congo, more than 400,000 women are raped each year while in Somalia female genital mutilation is relatively more widespread. Therefore, crimes towards women are not a country specific issue, rather it is a global issue that should be taken a lot more seriously by all institutions within the society. Stereotyping women, blaming the victim and trying to figure out if she was the one who invited the rape is not a solution. Calling gender violence a women’s issue gives men an excuse not to pay attention. Martin Luther King famously said, “In the end what will hurt the most is not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.” The Bystander Approach, devised by Jackson Katz, deals with exactly that – our relentless silence and the role of our peers. In this approach, staying silent is seen as a form of consent and complicity. This concept revolutionizes the purpose of a society by empowering members within it to create a peer culture where abusive behaviour is seen as not just illegal, but also unacceptable. Men and boys who act out in strident and sexist ways lose status amongst their peers and other members of society. This approach is supposed to be put in play at all times and not just when crimes against women reach its pinnacle.

Welcome to the age of ‘The Rise’

RiSe Mumbai!

Team Rise

The horrific crime that took place on 16th December sparked a firestorm of protests. The incident not only touched the lives of many, but also encouraged India’s restless and increasingly assertive youth to rise against the abuse occurring towards women within the country. School and college students have been organising and actively participating in educating their local communities on issues around discrimination and abuse towards women. Rise Mumbai was one such event that helped educate and awaken other members within society to the harsh realities of physical and sexual abuse that Indian women encounter. Led by a team of diligent students from Podar College of Commerce and Economics, the event took three and half months to execute. Their relentless effort and dedication towards organising an event fully dedicated to the security of women in India is what got me hell bent on writing this article. When asked what inspired them to rise against such issues they responded, “Like every other ordinary Mumbaikar we never gave too much thought to doing anything for society. But this changed one day when a female friend of ours felt insecure at night at a railway station even when she had two guys with her to drop her off. This incident made us think and UNLIKE any other ordinary Mumbaikar instead of waiting for something terrible to happen, we decided to be proactive and work for women’s safety in Mumbai.” Managing an event such as Rise brought its own set of challenges. The students’ drive to create a positive change in society was constantly tested; unfortunately not everyone could set himself or herself to the task. However, the group of students that did managed to successfully juggle all their responsibilities to make Rise a dream come true. The kind of educational tools and skills shared by team Rise was an effective way to provoke thought and strike a gripping discussion. With hosting a one-day event like Rise, the drawback is that most people tend to gradually forget about it all. Nonetheless, team Rise say they have it all planned out. They aspire to hold monthly workshops in schools as well as organize a city-wide campaign to educate individuals about physical and sexual abuse towards women, the downsides of corruption and so on. They say, “We realise change is not something that comes in a day or two. It may take a year or a thousand years. All we aimed to do is give a start, make people think. To show the world that the youth can be responsible and to tell the youth that it is ‘cool’ to be good.” But like with any event, financial backing is mandatory. All assistance/volunteers and sponsorship would be greatly appreciated.

 RISE is a campaign initiated to make Mumbai a better place for women. It aims at eliminating any gender-based violence against women, especially rape.

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Music and Sound Recording done at Seven Sounds Productions

Watch: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AcUyYXb2rTo