This year has been quite an emotional roller coaster ride. I do have those days where I wish I could go back and make a few adjustments and that is only natural for any human being; however, today just so happens to be one of those days where I cherish every lesson learnt, regardless of what I had to endure in order to learn it.
- “Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.” – Winston Churchill &“Believe you can and you are already halfway there.” – Theodore Roosevelt
Without a doubt, this has to be one of the most important lessons I learnt in 2014. I have to admit, I started this year on a very naïve note. I truly believed that 2014 would be my defining year. I thought I would be able to gallantly surmount all the trials and tribulations that were to come. As the months went on by, I realized nothing was happening as I had planned. All my ventures would either start (with a big bang) and then fade into oblivion or not start at all. And it is at times like this that the world and your mind for that matter begin to militate. Self-doubt became my comrade. I made a conscious decision not to talk with anyone about it – not a very good idea. Self doubt is like a pest, the more you groom and nurture it; it will turn its back on you and corrode you from inside out.
Our society doesn’t reward defeat or failure for that matter. Many of us make a conscious effort to avoid the prospect of it. So much so that we loath its very presence in an individual’s life… our life. For this very reason, ever since my high school days, I always feared failure. The more I feared it, the more it infused its way into my life. It was like living my worst nightmare…
- Procrastination is the thief of my success.
I began to fear failure so much so that I began to procrastinate my way out of it – again, not a very good idea. Procrastination is a thief, I tell you. It stole my precious time and the benefit of the hard work that I had invested the months prior. I wanted to attain perfection, but didn’t feel like I acquired the capability to do so no matter how hard I worked…
- “Death leaves a heartache no one can heal, love leaves a memory no one can steal.” – Richard Puz, The Carolinian
In all this mess, I lost someone who meant a great deal to me – my grandfather. Losing a loved one is never easy. Never. After my grandfather’s passing, my family and I made a conscious decision to celebrate his life – every moment of it – so as to make his memories and accomplishments live on. In fact, we were so excited because it was the beginning of a new journey for him – not the end. Although we do not have the ability to physically see and feel the presence of the person whom we have just lost, it does not mean that they no longer exist they have just taken a new form.
My grandfather’s passing was a reminder to me that our time here is indeed limited, and therefore we should utilize each day to the fullest. No matter what the outcome.
- “When we change, the world changes. The key to all change is in our inner transformation—a change of our hearts and minds. This is human revolution. We all have the power to change. When we realize this truth, we can bring forth that power anywhere, anytime, and in any situation.” – Daisaku Ikeda
I didn’t quite realize the power of positivity till half way this year. Being positive is hard work, especially for someone like me who befriends pessimism quite easily. It took me a while to realize that everything is down to me. As long as I hold a negative attitude within myself, I cannot really expect the alternative to manifest in the environment around me. The moment I took accountability for all that had happened to me in the past, things started to pick pace a little. I had noticed that up until that point, for the most part, I had only interacted with individuals that would degrade me (and I would allow myself to be degraded) or fostered friendships that in the long run turned out to be rather toxic. The moment my attitude changed, I changed. As a result of this change, I had to let go of some bad habits and along with that some friendships; however, this change also opened doors to new and unexpected opportunities and along the way I befriended some amazing individuals who have not just lifted me up the days I succumbed to my self-doubt, but also propelled me further to accomplish much greater things. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t hold any angst or animosity towards any of those individuals who degraded me, instead I am so grateful to them for having taught me the lessons that they did and I wish them well.
As far as my dreams and ambitions are concerned (the ventures that I spoke of earlier) – let me tell you, where there is a will there is a way.
Now, in hindsight, I honestly feel like 2014 was my defining year; my year of victory. I suppose, all these months I was searching for some type award, a trophy perhaps, that would validate all the blood, sweat and tears that I invested into all the adventures and projects I embarked on. Life is never going to get easier, we just get stronger. Our increasing strength and wisdom is our own reward, our motivation to take on bigger and greater things. I learnt to regard failure as a stepping stone towards the next greatest thing. As Thomas Edison mentioned upon the creation of the light bulb, “I have not failed, I have just found a 10,000 ways that won’t work.Our greatest weakness lies in giving up. The most certain way to succeed is always to try one more time.”
I really struggled with writing this, primarily because no one likes to disclose their flaws and failures. But if this post could help even a single individual, I have done my job. 🙂
On that note, Merry Christmas and hope you all have a very happy, healthy and prosperous New Year.